Rule # 4- Whistling

Rule #4- Inappropriate whistling

The good Lord has given us a great many talents, but for some reason, he gave you the ability to screech louder than the union break whistle. How is this talent best used? Why standing two feet behind someone and letting one fly like a rape whistle. What about the “innocent bystanders,” screw them. Why should you care. You’re having a good time. Now under the right circumstances, whistling is not a Douchebag thing to do. At a sporting event, when separated at the beach, lost at sea are all acceptable times. My father even used to whistle real loud to communicate with his father while picking blackberries in the mountains where he grew up. For this to be a Douche thing to do, it must be done at a very inappropriate moment. If you were say, at a Broadway show, and sitting behind me, and it was the ending round of applause, and you had total disregard for me and the lady next to me, you might want to let the inner Douche banshee out and deafen us. Not once. Not twice. But three times. Thanks for that.